The Desperate Trio
by Isaya Yuuki
Summary: France was a pervert who tried to make Romano curious about sex. Prussia was a saint. Spain was one who declared sex was once created by tomatoes. In order to keep erotic books in the house, France will do everything.


The Desperate Trio.

Long time ago, lives three desperate men.

* * *

Spain, Prussia, and France were good buddies. They spent lots of time drinking together and laughing together until one day, Spain got a kid in his house. Romano. Their night with beers, wines, and porns were all gone.

The awesome Prussia brightly announced his plan. "Spain, Let's tell your brat about porns and beers!"

France smiled. "Yes, Spain. Romano is a boy right? Soon or later, he will watch these kinds of things. There's no problem to let him know about porns, but not the beer"

"But I think Romano's too young for this stuff" Spain said innocently.

France grinned evilly. "Spain! Do you know that we had suffer these 2 weeks because Romano? I can't even read my erotic book freely!" said France as he pulled Spain's collar. "It's all alright. Big Brother will do everything. You should just watch heehee"

Spain tried to save his henchman's innocent while trying to stop his buddies. "He is just a kid!"

"That's alright, We will start from the first step. This big brother will teach him everything he need to know, This is for (my) Romano's sake" France said to convince Spain.

"Yeah! Let's start from condom!" Prussia grinned evilly as he pulled a condom from nowhere. "Believe me, everything will be fine, Spain!"

Spain, the well-known idiot easily agree to the plan as he nodded to both of the perverts. Plan Teaching Romano about Sex. Then, they start to prepare everything they need (porn magazines, porn movies, etc.)

But France will use the easiest way. Without Spain knowing, France slipped porn magazines under innocent Romano's pillow. Hoping Roman will get curious.

* * *

The next morning comes, time to start their plan.

Romano walked slowly towards the kitchen while his mind was busy thinking about the words he learnt yesterday from the book he found under his pillow.

"Spain" Romano called his boss.

Spain was preparing breakfast looked down to his little henchman with a small smile. "Anything, Romano?"

"What's sex?" the boy asked Spain bluntly.

.

.

Spain was shocked. What happened to his innocent Romano? Where did his cute and childish Romano gone?

"Spain, What's sex?" The kid repeated his question.

Spain started to think an excuse. "Umm… Sex is umm… Romano, Comes from tomato and a chicken" Spain tried to convince Romano.

"Tomato and chicken?"

"yes, a really big tomato and a chicken!" said Spain who was truly nervous that moment. "I tell you when I finish cooking, until then, you should go to play somewhere"

* * *

"Prussia!"

The awesome albino looked down to the little boy. "Hmm.. What? Awesome me is busy today"

"What's sex?" the boy asked while staring at him.

.

.

.

"Hmm… Sex is how human can produce babies! It's a holy blessing from god!" The Prussian declared to the boy.

Romano's expression changed as he don't really get what Prussia's talking about. "Why is that?"

"Well, That's because it's awesome that way!"

"Spain said, sex comes from a big tomato and a chicken"

"Nope, Sex is not like tomato or chicken. Sex is awesome!" The albino grinned proudly.

Then, before Romano can ask another question, another man appeared. The blonde Frenchman pulled Romano to his lap. "Romano, I will tell you that~"

Romano's eyes shines brightly. "Really?"

"Let's see, sex is a very beautiful and natural, and magnificent thing" France said. "Sex is an event when a man and woman, hmm… let me restart it again, sex is an event when a man and a woman, a man and a man, and a woman and a woman" The Frenchman paused and rethink once again. "Hmm… it can be more than two. It can be two, three, or more" he paused once again. "So, sex is an event when unspecified number of people…" Then he paused the second time. "Actually, it doesn't have to be human. It can be plant or else. Like I once have sex with cactus"

Somehow, after france finish his sentence, Prussia can't stop staring at France. Deep inside his heart, he must be thinking 'god, this person is sinful'.

Romano confused. "What's that, damnit?"

"hmm… No need to be confused, you just need to see the picture. Wait, I'll bring it from my bag" France let go of Romano as he happily reach his bag, searching for his magical erotic book.

Spain appeared and called for Romano. "Romano! Breakfast is done now and we got tomato juice"

Romano quickly runs towards the kitchen where Spain was. He happily sit on his chain and take his fork. Ready to eat his pasta. (pasta for breakfast? O_O)

* * *

Somewhere…

France was evilly laughing. "My plan worked! Now, It will be a few more step before I can see you again, my dear erotic book!"

* * *

Back to the kitchen…

"Spain, I heard from France, sex is unspecified number of plant. He said he even had sex with cactus" The boy said to his boss.

Seems like the boy doesn't understand what was France talking about. Spain can only stare at the boy.

"Umm… about that, I think It's too fast.."

Romano's eyes twitched. "I just want to know what this sex means!" said Romano as he pulled a paper. Form for making clothes.

That time, it was proven, that France was a real pervert. Prussia was actually a saint. And Spain was an idiot.

And three of them known as 'the desperate trio'.

* * *

A/N:

Thanks for reading :D  
I was half asleep when I make this story.

So, tell me what you think ok?  
Review, da?


End file.
